A Simple Determination
Sustained motivation is not something that always comes easily to me. I find that starting is often very easy, but seeing the conceived goal through is an entirely different challenge altogether. I would like to be more consistent in this area. However, I find myself subject to the ebbs and flows of life and the transient feelings that accompany them.
In short, I have spent so long in a comfort zone of my own making that breaking free does not seem like an option in my day-to-day life. Stagnation appears natural—too natural. I know I am not alone in this, but it is interesting to consider the various motivators people have in their lives—more specifically, fictional people.
Several years ago, I jumped on the Attack on Titan bandwagon, and I don’t regret doing so. I was transported into a world where the primary motivator was survival—a future free from the barbarity of Titans. However, it is later revealed that the real enemy is not monstrous beings but humanity itself. This is not what I want to focus on, though.
I have in mind a particular scene in the first season of the show, where Mikasa Ackerman takes the risky decision to break into the supply depot in Trost District, which by that point was swarming with mindless, flesh-hungry Titans. Securing the supply depot was essential, as the cadets needed to refill their gas canisters for their ODM gear so they could escape and continue fighting. But doing so would come at a cost.
Mikasa and her fellow cadets had suffered a great loss. Many of their comrades had been brutally killed by Titans, creating a palpable sense of hopelessness. They had to press on somehow, but how could they?
It is at this point that Mikasa communicates her simple determination:
“If I can’t, I’ll die. But if I win, I’ll live. If I don’t fight, I can’t win.”
This scene really spoke to me when I rewatched the show last year, and it speaks to me now. Mikasa and the other cadets could only survive if they fought. There was no salvation in remaining where they were. Shortly after hearing Mikasa’s words, the cadets were emboldened. They fought, and they survived (well, most of them died—but that’s beside the point).
The lesson is simple: you won’t get anywhere, achieve anything noteworthy, or become anyone of significance if you do nothing. If you don’t fight, you can’t win. There’s no other way to navigate life. The solution is clear and far from complicated.
Profound lessons like these are often hidden in the most unlikely places. When discovered, they must be heeded, or else they disappear into the void of forgetfulness. And forgetful people are doomed to repeat the same mistakes.
Today marks my turning point—a step away from my era of forgetfulness. I hear Mikasa’s voice in my head: “If I don’t fight, I can’t win.” So I press on, and I fight, because only then can I win.